Rating:

A Climb To Die For

Author: Jenny Kiefer

Haunted, magical forests covered in bones, echoing with the chilling wails of the damned. A big climb, an untouched cliff. A potential legend. Four young people, excited for their unprecedented discovery, the climb of a lifetime, and a geological feat, walking into the unknown. No cell service. No help. No way out.

The Wretched Valley caught my attention first with the cover, and then with The Ruins–like vibe. I enjoy survival horror, but more than that I like the creeping paranoia of isolation (a horror love I got from John Carpenter’s The Thing, which I watched in a dark, isolated room late at night, by myself, as a 13-year-old.) From the write-up at least, This Wretched Valley seemed to have it all, with the potential for deep character interactions as the terror builds.

We know the ending before we even start. We know everyone dies, sans one who is permanently missing. We know that the dead are inexplicably found. Some just dead, some completely skeletonized. What we don’t know is the how, and that is the pull. Although, of course, knowing they all die takes some of the tension out of it. Still. Creepy forest. Dumb young people taking chances. What’s not to love, other than the Blair Witch-like Instagram reels Dylan is so insistent on making. Ugh. Influencers do not belong in horror y’all.

As the story slowly gets going, the momentum created by the dead body discovery in the beginning dissipates, however, and we get a bit bored. The characters are mostly interchangeable. Clay is the geology student who used remote tech to discover this untouched cliff face in Kentucky and told absolutely no one where they were going or why, looking to “be the first.” Because that never ends poorly. Next, we have the research assistant Sylvia, who really is a complete nonentity. I cannot remember anything about her, other than her death.

Image by Artie_Navarre from Pixabay

Then we have Dylan, the advanced climber with the insatiable desire to document everything on Instagram. She is predictably upset when the Internet connection doesn’t come through, because if you haven’t posted a Reel, have you really even done the thing? She’s dragging along her beleaguered boyfriend Luke, who shouldn’t even be attempting a climb like this, and he has his adorable dog – the only likeable character.

Well, the dog goes missing early on, leading Luke and Dylan to endlessly argue. Dylan doesn’t care about the dog, just her followers. She needs to climb, and if the dog gets left behind, well who cares. And isn’t Luke just selfish. Luke cares about the dog and realizes that Dylan is not a good girlfriend. This is the main drama through the entire middle segment, and believe me, this insipid relationship gets OLD.

Finally, we get some action, some injuries, a death, and the plot starts to pick up. But we do not like or care about any of these people. Only the dog mattered, and without the dog in the narrative, they can pretty much all die as we yawn and wonder what is on TV. Such wasted potential!

Eventually, after making some of the dumbest horror-character decisions ever (only bringing one rope, striking off without flashlights, climbing without any gear, etc.) the forest decides this is taking too long, and we randomly get cannibal ghosts. Where did this come from? I thought we had a sentient evil place (like The Ruins), but now we have ghosts who eat people? How does that mesh? And if the forest doesn’t want people to find its victims and it, why is it so darn easy to find said forest? It doesn’t make any sense.

Not that it is all bad, because honestly, the ending starts to rock and there is some tension. It just gets samey. We don’t care about the people, there is no depth, and despite the carnage, everything gets repetitive. This Wretched Valley isn’t bad – it would be a fun movie to watch. But as a book – it’s pretty dull.

 

– Frances Carden

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Frances Carden
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