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Cute Clothes and Cannibal Curses

Author: Graham Masterton

A happy woman, on the verge of being married to her dream man, lies down and pours acid onto her own face until she dies. A teacher throws children out of the window to be impaled on the railings below. A woman guts and eats her husband, leaving his carved body in their bed. A young girl eats the family dog, then her parents. What is the connection in this sudden onslaught of sensationalistic violence in the formerly normal suburb of Tooting?

DC Jerry Pardo and DS Jamila Patel are on the case, and they have a strange lead. Each of the previously normal people recently bought an item of used clothing from the same store. Now, in custody, they all claim that they cannot take the used clothes off. Coincidence, or strange form of possession? As the violence escalates and Pardo and Patel are attacked by sentient clothes, they realize that this plague is bigger and badder than anything they have ever encountered before.

Graham Masterton is truly the master of the bizarre and the horrifying. Similar to Bentley Little, Masterton can find horror in the homely, murder in the mundane, and in this case, carnage in the comfy. It seems like a satirical jaunt – something with the same intellectual and production quality of Sharknado, but it’s not. That’s where the genius and insanity lie. Ghost Virus is unique and more importantly, absolutely terrifying.

It’s not – however – without its flaws. I was surprised to see that this was written and published in 2018. It has an 80s feel to it because of the actions and interactions of the main characters, who are decidedly and casually racist. The Pakastani woman who kills herself in the beginning is what gets Patel on the case – because clearly this woman was part of a barbaric honor killing, no? We have “the black policemen,” who never gets a name . . . and everyone suspicious and bad (except the possessed) are exotic and therefore foreign. It’s . . . cringy. I kept waiting to see if there was an intentional point. Perhaps the characters were being villainized for a reason, or the author wanted to make some social commentary, but no. It’s just there, in the narrative, and it has a *shudder* natural, unquestioning feel.

But . . . if you can stomach that, the story itself is pretty good, even though the “good” characters deserve a bonk over the head, including Patel who should SAY SOMETHING.

Image by Luna-Lucero from Pixabay

Ghost Virus has its strength in the idea – one that sounds absurd but is ultimately stomach churning and horrifying. This is a story of disturbing vignettes, and Masterton knows how to horrify and sicken, and he doesn’t hold back. Kids are not spared and (unfortunately) neither are adorable family pets. The idea of love – of natural affection for a parent or a spouse – is betrayed time and again at the behest of the clothes whose vengeful nature and weird desire to “live,” drives their murderous wearers to cannibalism. It’s not a light read, and it is one that will leave you wanting to pick up Winne the Pooh as a palate cleanser. But it’s good, well written, well told, layered and imaginative, and will have you looking at that overflowing dirty clothes hamper with a chill traveling up your spine.

The ending loses a bit of the strength of the horror, however. The clothes attacking and moving on their own is ultimately less powerful than the possessed wearers going on a killing streak. It’s not laughable – but it is a bit close. The ultimate explanation – and we do get one – doesn’t bear too much inspection. A light poke reveals questions and holes – why is the entire world, then, not taken over by homicidal clothes – but hey, we weren’t expecting Shakespeare. The important thing is that we were scared and entertained, consistently and well. I forgot just how much I love Masterton’s work, how unique and effective his voice is, how deliciously dark and disturbing his imagination. Ghost Virus has its problems, but it still deserves a read. Recommended.

 

– Frances Carden

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Frances Carden
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