Rating:

Stereotypical Detectives And Tough Girl Action

Author: Louisa Luna

A mother leaves her two children in the car to rush in and buy a present for a birthday party. She comes out, and they are nowhere to be seen. The local police are overwhelmed and understaffed. The family reaches out to bounty hunter / private detective / all-around kick-ass Alice Vega to find the girls before it’s too late.

Vega, known for her results and general lack of law abiding, soon teams with shamed ex-cop Max Caplan to suss out answers. What follows is a web of misinformation, wrong suspects, and shady n’ere do wells, all of whom Vega beats up and threatens, and none of whom actually go to the police about the sustained brutality. If torturing potential subjects for information, which may or may not be useful, is your idea of a great detective/procedure thriller, then Two Girls Down is for you. If, however, you are looking for something with a bit of actual realism plus some lawless grit, look elsewhere.

Two Girls Down suffers from the late-late movie stereotyping. Caplan (because everyone is called by their last names here, to make it more “street” I guess) is the usual misunderstood cop with a heart of gold. He’s willing to take one on the chin to save someone else – even if that means self-destructing his entire life. Because, again, he is the put upon hero, and heroes have to suffer!

Worse yet is Vega, a female Rambo with a “dark” and “moody” past. Now . . . we’re never going to be told what that past is . . . but trust us . . . it’s “traumatic,” and while Vega does her daily handstands (because everyone does this to clear their mind) she’ll have random flashbacks to her tough-as-nails mentor and supposedly shady past. People died in her past, after all. Including her mother, who died of cancer. This is, of course, unique and makes her dark. She’ll do anything for justice, even act like a bad guy. Because she is damaged and tough and broken and apparently has the strength of Mike Tyson and the agility of Charlie Chan. Like you do. Those handstands y’all. They make you super tough. Obviously, I need to up my yoga routine.

Image by Youssef Canar from Pixabay

As Vega kidnaps and beats her way across town, no one does anything to stop her, including Caplan, who is charmed by the violence. After all, Vega is very alt. And the clock is ticking. Best knock some heads together to find these girls. Never mind if you aren’t even sure if the perp you’ve selected knows anything or has anything to do with it. And no, of course there are no consequences for this, even when the cops (who don’t like Vega) are totally watching.

Finally, we get a showdown that almost goes south, some more posturing from Vega, who says things like “I’m the motherfucker who gets. shit. done,” and finally an answer. It’s not the people we suspected – or the people who have been steadily abused by Vega. The showdown is somewhat interesting, but it’s all very melodramatic, very convenient, very action-outlandish, and ultimately just as nonsensical as everything that proceeded before.

Nothing here felt real. We didn’t care about anyone. Instead, we were always actively aware of the structure of the fiction – of the elements that were trying to make us feel a certain way and create a certain atmosphere. The elements failed, and instead, we just watched the rickety construction sway in the wind of plot devices and stereotyped hard-bitten hero detectives on a mission, law be damned. It’s more of the same old, same old, and not especially well done. Most of the actual legwork is done by an off-screen character (The Bastard) who is a hacker friend that conveniently and seemingly effortlessly gets all the footage and all the information. Vega is just the muscle and Cap, the weak smitten observer.

I suffered forcing myself through this book and was ultimately relieved when it was over. I won’t be returning to this author. I added an extra star for the somewhat interesting conclusion showdown, but ultimately Two Girls Down was a poor-quality thriller wanna-be. Not recommended.

– Frances Carden

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Frances Carden
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